Day 12 - Happy New Year!

I cannot believe we are almost through the bonding period! We have two more days (plus a few days for the holiday) and then we can petition for court. I am not even wanting to think about leaving our little girl but at the same time I want this to go as fast as possible so we can bring her home.
Today not only A wet her pants but she also wet her Dad's pants as well. She happened to be sitting in his lap. We did give her the new outfit for the new year and although she clearly liked it, she did not want us to put it on her right away. She waited until after she went to the bathroom to do this. So you know, the children stop wearing diapers around 6 months. The caretakers will sit them on little potties at scheduled time each day until they go to the bathroom. So they are not truly potty trained.
We were able to put her cute little outfit on after the accident. She loved it. She kept picking it up and looking at it like, "wow this is new and it is not pink, nice!" Even the social worker and caretaker commented on it.
Other than this, our little girl was in a pretty sad mood today. Apparently this was the case for another woman who is here also. Her girls seemed very sad. A Swiss lady that is here pointed out that this was likely due to the weather. Considering it was about -30 I would not be suprised. I am just ready to be able to comfort her. It was clear today that she was tired but we are not in the position to rock her and put her to sleep. I want so badly to be a true mother for her but until we have her home I feel like I cannot. Either way I love being able to be here and comforting her as much I can in that hour and a half.
Oh and Happy New Year! This was a fantastic New Year. We Celebrated by bringing our daughter a new outfit, randomly meeting an American English teacher, and talking to the owner of our hotel! The environment is amazing around our hotel. It is such an amazing thought to start our new year as parents. I never thought that we would know right now who our daughter would be. Oh or that we would have a daughter. Simply Amazing! Good night and Happy New Year from Kazakhstan where the music is still bumping in our hotel. (I will be happy when this holiday is over and we can go to sleep in a quiet (( not bumping)) hotel).

Day 11 - Accidentally Perfect

I wasn't too bad the first time, so Cindy has asked me to "guest write" again.

Yesterday we saw a couple of tantrums, and today we saw a brand new glimpse into the future. As soon as A saw us today, our translator noticed that her arm was less dry than a second before. Apparently A was so happy to see us that she had an accident. No worries, we brought her upstairs to her room for a fresh pair of tights and we were set. About 20 minutes later A started pointing down at her leg, and upon closer inspection, accident #2 had occured during play time. Although this seems to be a rough day, this accident was an absolute God-send. Instead of bringing her upstairs for the caretaker to change her, Cindy was able to provide this for our daughter, which really proved to be a great opportunity to bond. While she was laying there I tried to distract her, and she was so very receptive to my playing. She would laugh and laugh all while staying perfectly still for Cindy to finish up.

Another bittersweet moment that arose from the situation is our discovery of her poor little dry legs. Not just dry feeling, but to the point where skin was starting to flake off. Cindy felt so great to be able to put lotion on her legs, and A is always excited to use the lotion. All in all, we left today very happy that A had her two accidents because it was her parents that got to take care of some of her basic needs.

The rest of the day was just as fantastic! We feel like some strides are being made in the bonding process, and A has become very affectionate with us over the last couple of days. She seems to want to mimic us, laugh with us, hug and kiss on us. It is a wonderful feeling to have your child want to show you that she cares. Also, A is continuing to be more and more vocal and including us in her play. She still wants it to be known that we are playing with her toys, but she lets us play nonetheless.

Cindy and I cannot wait until tomorrow, because that is New Year's Eve. This is a huge deal here, which we can hear until about 3am every night this week from our hotel's restaurant/pseudo dance club. It is customary to exchange gifts on Dec. 31, so we have splurged and scoured the city to find one of the cutest (I am officially a parent for using that word) outfits (and that word) ever assembled. I just hope A will be accomidating enough to wear it for us tomorrow. I will leave you with a picture of the new years gift:

Day 10 - Our First Glimpse

This is going to be a short post because it was a short visit. We were able to see our little girl's first miniature tantrums. One was because we had to take colored pencils away so she would not poke her eye out and the second was because the director came in and she thought it was lunch time, so she started screaming when she was put back down. Thankfully we were able to calm her down quite quickly. The second one she allowed me to just hold and rock her while she layed her head on my shoulder. I loved this! I am actually happy that we are seeing this behavior because it allows me to be a little bit more of a mom for her rather than just a play date. These two episodes maybe took up 5 minutes of our visit.

The rest of the time she was her normal happy, fun self. When we were putting the lotion on her arms she grabbed Chris's hand and started rubbing lotion on it. I guess she thought her daddy needed some moisture too! She is still being more and more verbal everday. Today she repeated Kaka, which means yucky in russian. Also she sounded like she kitty after we pointed one out in her book. I really hate that we have our visit right before lunch. No matter how much she likes us, we will never be as important as food! We can always tell when she is getting hungry because she starts packing up all of her toys.

So we did try Russian pizza last night. Instead of going through all of the trouble of getting the girl to get out an English menu we decided to just order from a picture. It looked amazing. It had cheese, bell pepper and what looked like beef on it. Boy were we wrong. It was FISH and not just any fish, the strongest and fishiest fish I have ever tried. It was so bad that neither of us could stomach it. (KAKA!) So we came back to the room and ordered french fries, banana pancakes and ice cream. We need comfort food after being tramatized!

Day 9 - Just a Whisper

Although we prefer yesterday's performance, today we realized that the 2 year old class was apparently the less celebrated new years pageant. There were tons of people their to watch the older kid's performance. Even some serious looking military people. We were able to get some great video of the other kids who are being adopted by families that have now had to go home.

Each of the blogs seem to be getting shorter than the last because some things have become redundant and although they are incredibly special to us, we know that it does not make for the best read. So, for the most part she was the same as yesterday: loving the lotion, stroller, coloring and music box. A couple of new things did happen. She was in the stroller (her favorite place to be) and she started yelling "NYET!!!" very loud. Please know that this is not defiance, but rather what she says when she is excited, or happy, or playing, or mad, or defiant or... Anyway, Chris bent down to her level and put his finger on his lips and asked her to shush. She then leaned toward him, and carefully said "nyet" in a very low whisper. It was so cute and great to have her listen to us. Apparently shush in Kazakhstan is the same as America.

Later she was playing with yet another toy in the play room that has no battery. This one is a little keyboard book. I started trying to sing the notes that she was playing. She told me "nyet" and then started singing the notes herself. There was a lot of this kind of behavior today. She has started copying our behaviors which is a great sign of attachment. She did not eat again yesterday at lunch. Everytime this happens the caretakers think that we fed her, which we do not do. We did not even give her water yesterday. We are worried that the stress of us leaving everyday is causing her to not eat. Please pray for her, that this will not be such a difficult transition everyday.

You might be wondering what we do with the rest of our time here. We go out exploring most days but today we fell back into the dreadful naps. I hope this does not mess up our sleep at night. We will typically go out to dinner since both of us can eat for under 8 dollars at most restaurants around here. Tonight we are going to have pizza, or rather "pizza". We have been told that this is very different from American pizza. There is no tomato sauce and they will use sandwich meats and mayonaise on several of the menu items. This should be interesting. In general the food has been great and our free breakfasts put continental breakfasts to shame! There is also a market with outdoor clothing and shoe shops. They have whole fish just laying out frozen because it is so cold here. I am convinced they just pull them out of the river and they instantly freeze. We were joking yesterday that if you thaw it out it might come back to life. I don't think we will buy one to find out, but it would be a great deal at $3 for about a 4olb fish.

We have also spent a lot of time clothes and toy shopping for our little girl. This, unfortunately, is very expensive here. One store was selling Children's Place clothes for around $50 dollars an item. For those of you who don't know, these typically sell for around $10 at the store in America. We are also getting to know other families that are here for adoption. It is neat to hear about all of their journeys and their children that they are adopting. But, mostly we spend alot of time in our room trying to stay warm and playing games.

Day 8 - A is for Actress

Today we had the special treat of getting to watch our little A in a New Year's pagent, which is basically a little play with a bunch of two year olds dancing. They had her dressed up with sparkley garland on her dress, a huge bow in her hair and a head band with sparkles all over it. The second she came in she saw us and had a huge smile on her face. She would not take her eyes off of us throughout the entire performance. Even when she was supposed to be sitting facing forward, she kept turning around and making this happy suprised face, like "Hey you are still here!". Even her doctor recognized what she was doing. It was so great to be able to go to her first little performance. We were so proud!

Another treat was this was also the first day that we had bonding time alone with her. Our translator had to be at another orphanage and all of the other families have left. We had so much fun! She definately started talking more, although I am not sure if they are actually words. She is saying Mama a lot. Sometimes I do know that when she says mama, she is trying to say "mine" when referring to her toys. Still, there were some times today that I was not in the room with her and she started yelling "mama!". We were also able to get much more eye contact as well. I can't wait for her to be home. We spent much more time putting lotion on her, and this has become her favorite thing to do. She was even putting it on both of our hands as well. She likes to put it on her own hands while I am rubbing it into her arms. A new discovery is that she is enamoured with being pushed in the stroller. Chris would chase me with her and the stroller and she would just laugh and laugh. When it was my turn to push the little one around, Chris sneak up on her and tickle her belly. She is very ticklish, and absolutely loves that Chris knows that.

When we had to bring her back for lunch she started crying and we could here her all the way down the stairs. I cannot imagine having to leave her for over a month, but today was a great day!

Day 7 - Heels Over Head for Us

We had a special treat today. Since it is the weekend we were allowed to go get A from her classroom. Typically this is not proper procedure, as our translator will go get her and bring her to us normally. The second we walked into the room and A saw us, she got so excited that she litterally flipped backwards off of her seat! All we saw were two little feet sticking up in the air. She practically knocked all of the other kids out of the way to get to us. Although this was incredibly fun, it was hard seeing all of the other babies that were left behind. They all stopped what they were doing and stared at us cradling and loving on our baby girl. The caretakers were very sweet and were saying how they liked that we were young. Most people that they see are 20 years our senior. They said that they would save another baby for us. If only it were that easy! A was in a fantastic mood today and we had a much longer visit. We even got to experience her hick ups, which is the second cutest noise in the world (the first is her laugh). She was also laughing at her Papa being silly. She would cover her face with her hand and laugh. She really seems to be getting more comfortable with us every day. We spent several minutes putting lotion on her little hands and arms that were so dry. She loved putting the lotion on her own hands. The long visit was great except for when she got hungry. She always makes this very obvious. She just picks up all of her toys and puts them away, just one of the amazing things our daughter does! One of the other families was having to say good bye to their two little ones today. This is always very hard to witness, it seems so very unfair that we build up the child's trust and then have to abandon them for 1-2 months. I am so very dreading the day this happens and am so very thankful for every day that we have with our angel.

Day 6- Baby's First Christmas

This has definately been a unique Christmas. For starters, it is a white Christmas. For all of you followers from the south you know how special this is. The only problem is here it happens so much that it might as well have been raining. Personally I like when there is fresh snow because there is less of a chance that I will bust it on the side walk! We got a late start due to our driver and translator running behind. You would think that this would mean that we would get more time later with our sweet girl but unfortunately this is not the case. Today is not a holiday here. They celebrate new year as if it were Christmas and the "Russians" celebrate christmas on January 7th. So this was only special for us Americans. So we got to the orphanage late but luckily our translator rushed to go get A as soon as we got there. Again she let A down to run to us and I will be honest in saying that she was definately running to her Papa and I totally intersepted. I can't help it, I love to have those sweet arms around me! We immediately gave her the Christmas gifts. Like every young child, she cared less about the gifts and more about the paper and strings that it was wrapped in. We litterally sat and played with the wrapping for about 20 minutes! During this time two of the other kids came over. A started saying "Nyet, Nyet" to them and doing her hand at them to tell them to go away. Our translator thinks this is becausee she did not want to share us but I think it had more to do with her new toys. Sharing is a hard thing for every toddler to learn but even worse for one who has never before had things of her own and has had to fight for toys in the past. We then took her to take a picture by one of the Christmas trees. I had no clue that it would be the 3 foot tall one, oh well it was just a formality for the picture books. After we took her back we tried giving her a rasberry on her belly. She laughed and laughed. This is the only time that I can get prolonged eye contact is when she is laughing! I will take it. We also had the first fall. She bumped her head and really did not have time to start crying before Chris swooped her up to comfort her, 5 seconds later she was all better. Chris also learned that she was ticklish, so sweet. It was definately a Papa day, which was a little hard but I love watching her bond with him! Sadly, our short meeting was cut even shorter by a caretaker coming in to bring her back upstairs for lunch. As she was leaving the caretaker told her to blow a kiss, it was almost the cutest thing I have ever seen. We were sad to have had so little time with her today but so thankful that we were able to be together as a little family on this special day. What a blessing it is that God allowed us to be with her on the day that we celebrate the birth of his son! It is so amazing what the addition of one small person to our lives can do! Merry Christmas!

Day 5 A is for Artist

Per Cindy's request, Chris will be a "guest writer" for today's blog entry. (Sorry)

Due to A's little trick move played on me when she entered the room yesterday, Cindy and I lined up side by side practically competing for our daughter's initial embrace. She ran straight to Cindy's arms without hesitation, and the theme continued throughout the morning as she refused a couple of my attempts to have her let me hold her when she was upset.  It is official, she is mama's girl for now, though I am formulating a strategy to get her back! A is still giving me hugs, smiles, and laughs, so I have nothing to complain about. I am just not the one she looks to for comfort.  Talking with other families here, I am the first to have a girl that lets a man hold her at all, and she let me do that after about 15 minutes.

We introduced some new toys today because our luggage finally got here. Every day we let A look in our backpack at the toys that are available to her, and then she picks out whatever she wants to play with.  Up to today, she gets excited about everything she sees in the bag.  Today, she almost looked disapointed.  She just took things out and put them to the side as if she was on a mission.  Finally the infamous music box was in sight, and we had a very happy daughter lunge to grab the toy and start the music!  She doesn't ever concentrate on that toy, but she loves having the music at all times. 

The big discovery from today is that A absolutely loves to color, and she does that primarily with her left hand. She is so amazing in the way she is able to just do things. I don't think she has never seen a crayon (they don't seem to exist here) and yet she knew exactly what to do with them and how she wanted to use them. To be fair, she did try to eat one, but she didn't like it so we are good.  A just colors for a minute with each color one by one, then she starts all over again.  If I had to guess, I think red is in the early lead for favorite color.

A was much more focused today, and she seemed very content to sit there with her coloring book and her music box.  She was very jealous that the other child in the room was opening his Christmas presents, but she gets to have her Christmas tomorrow.  We cannot wait! 

Day 4 - Mommy's First Victory

A is such a little jokester. When our translator brought her in today she reached her arms up and started running to her Papa but at the last second as a very proud Chris had his arms fully extended, she juked to the right and ran to me instead! It was so hilarious and precious. She is starting to get a cough and it was clear that she was not feeling as well today. Even still she was not very fussy. She rough housed with us for a little while but for the most part she was enjoying playing quietly. She was playing with some nesting dolls. These are the little Russian dolls that open up and have smaller ones inside. This was perfect for her because she enjoys taking things apart and putting them back together. At some point the other little boy in the bonding room decided he wanted to play with them. We saw that A noticed but thought she was okay with it. We were apparantly quite wrong. She was not settled again until she had the dolls back. Then everytime she saw the little boy she would try to pick all of the pieces up to make sure that he could not take them. Because she was a little fussy we were able to spend more time holding her and comforting her. I was so happy to have this time. When it was time to go she put all of the toys we brought back in the bookbag and the other toys back on the shelves exactly where they came from. For anyone that has been around any child much less a two year old, you would know this is amazing. Apparently the orphanage has taught them to do this every time play time is over. She is truly amazing! Again when she was leaving today she started waving and said papa! Oh and we officially signed the papers accepting the referral! We verbally did this 2 days ago but things move at there own pace around here. Us Americans are learning to chill out! We are so thankful that this trip has been so easy and wonderful. We have not yet received any curveballs and we are relishing in the peace of God's awesome plan.

Day 3 - The Most Wonderful Sound in the World

Every day A adjusts so much more and allows us to see more of her personality. Today there were two other families in the bonding room so we were concerned how this might upset her. It did not, it just greatly distracted her. She constantly wants to know what is going on with the people around her, but I can relate to that. The important thing is that she never went to anyone else or was even interested in interacting with anyone other than her mom and dad.

She did not cry coming in at all this time and automatically came to us. Our translator said that A got very excited when she came to get her. Today was a very special day for Chris and I because today we heard our darling little girl laugh. She started "running" back and forth between us with her arms open so that we would swoop her into a hug and give her bunches of kisses. She would laugh and laugh! She then started hiding from her papa behind me and would not stop laughing when Chris caught her, and she made catching her very easy to do.

We had so much fun today! It was also clear that she was starting to trust us because she would just fall and trust that we would catch her. This little game will definately keep us on our toes. Oh, and majorly proud moments for each of us today! When we brought out the picture book of A's new family, the first thing she did was open to a picture of us and say "mom". We are not sure if it really meant what we hope, but I will take my victories where I can. When she was leaving us (tear) she definitely said "Papa" twice! Chris, of course, obviously swelled with pride and happiness. Every day that we are with her it is even harder to leave her. The hour and a half flies by.

Day 2 - Just a Material Girl

Today A was still fussy when they brought her in but she warmed up very quickly and allowed for us to play with her. She is a little engineer. She loves blocks, stacking cups and the stacking rings. We gave a toy to her yesterday that our good friends recomended. It just has one simple button in the middle to play songs and it lights up and has this great little handle. Pretty simple, but she will not set it down or let the music stop for very long. Because she was still so timid yesterday we decided to let her keep the toy, which is a bit of risk. In the orphanage when you do this you never know if she will have it the next day or if it will become a general population toy. We were happy to see when they brought her in that she was carrying her little music box. We were later told that the orphanage did not make sure the toy stayed with her, but rather she grabs it before going anywhere. Everytime a song ended she would quickly push the button to start another song. She also would start a new song everytime she finished stacking the rings.

Our translator was great telling us words of praise and encouragement to share with her. We also learned a couple before going in like angil moy (my angel). At one point she got a little fussy and came to me. She allowed me to hold her close and she actually start rocking me side to side. It is amazing how comforting rocking can be for a child. We just stayed like that for probably 5 minutes. It is clear that she is not sensitive to sounds or touch which is great. We also gave her a hippo cuddle blanket that Chris's grandma made for her. She was carrying it around by it's tiny little ear. So now she did not want to put down her music box or her blanket. This made stacking blocks very difficult. My sister-in-law, Becky, made this fantastic picture book to bring for her with all of the family's pictures. We went through it pointing out who everyone was in Russian. Every page she turned to made her so excited. She would point at the faces and make these great noises! She especially got excited over a picture of her baby cousin. After this she was trying to carry around the picture book, snuggle hippo and the music box. It was quite adorable. We worried that she would not want to leave any of the toys with us but she was great about putting the toys back in the bookbag without any fus and of course we left her with her music box (as if we had a choice!).

It was so hard leaving her today. She was so fantastic and fun. We are having such a blast. Thanks for the prayers. Aside from a little jet lag we are really having such a fantastic and smooth trip. It was about 7 degrees F today and snowing. One of our translators actually said it was warm!! She said that it will get much colder. Hopefully the airline will find our bagage with all of our warm clothes soon.

Day 1 - Surprise

We met our little one today and she (yes she) is absolutely beautiful.

We first met with the director and social worker who were both just as excited as we were. They were also picking on us for the little bit of Russian that we tried to use. Oh wait, back it up, we were left to sit in a room by ourselves waiting for almost an hour for our coordinator to get to us. Before this experience, the breakfast here is so amazing that I drank 3 cups of peach juice, one cup of hot tea and a bottle of water. Big mistake, I had to go!!! We were so nervous sitting there with all the workers walking by us with awkward looks and mumbles, but we stayed hopelessly excited.

We knew that we would probably only have 15 minutes today and the longer visits will start tomorrow. They brought her in and she was so scared. We knew this would probably be the case so it did not upset us when she cried. I reached for her to let me hold her, and she was not OK with that. We then went to the playroom with her and she quickly warmed up. Chris started by handing her rings and she would take it and stack it and we would all cheer. She played this game about 10 times. I then put my hands out and she actually came to me and let me hold her. So amazing!!! We did not think this would happen so quickly. She also let Chris hold her before we left. This is a very big deal since it was clear that she is petrified of men, which is understandable since no one was sure if she had ever seen a man. It was amazing!

As we refer to her in the future we will call her A. This is because it is both the first letter of her birth name and also the name that we have picked out for her. A is 23 months old and will turn 2 while we are here!! Simply amazing, we cannot stop smiling!

Goodnight or Good Morning from Kazakhstan

After about 40 hours in a car, on a plane or just sitting in an airport we finally made it. We actually were able to get to our final destination, Ust Kamenogork, quicker than if it would have gone as planned. This biggest issue is some of our luggage was lost in Frankfort, Germany. The bag we are missing has all of our winter clothes, almost all of the toys we brought and also our entertainment (cards). They seemed quite sure that it would be found, mainly because about 18 other people on that flight lost there's as well. Most of you know that I can get a little crazy when things are not going perfect. It was clear that God was taking care of me and my nerves. We were both so very calm, this could be because we had not slept but 3 hours in the past two days. I hope we are able to continue this attitude throughout the trip.

It is beautiful here. Everything is covered with snow. There actually people making ice castles outside. We can see them from our hotel room. So neat!

We will get to go to the orphanage tomorrow at 10:00am and meet our little one! This should be around 10:00pm Sunday night for most of you. We still do not know anything about him or her. We might be here for about 5 weeks. The first two weeks is an observed bonding period. After this is complete we will be waiting for our court date. This is the reason it might take so long. Because of the holidays it might be harder get one. After we have our court date we come back to the US without our child. There is mandatory two week waiting period before the little one is declared ours. After this they start the paperwork, this stage could take from 4-6 weeks. Once it is all complete, I will probably travel back alone to bring our baby home.

I am going to go now because I am scared that our power converter might explode. (we didn't read the instructions and it is not supposed to be used with computers, oops). I will be back tomorrow with hopefully fantastic news!

I also forgot to mention that we are not allowed to post any pictures of the baby until him/her is officially our son or daughter. I will be able to tell you some about them and share pictures of the fantastic scenery.

Good Night or Good morning,

Cindy

And it begins

In April 2009 we started the most faith building journey of our life. Chris and I have always known that we wanted to adopt. It was only a matter of when and from where. After we had been married for close to 5 years it became clear to both of us that it was time. Since then we have had to mature and grow in our faith to survive. We actually got to the point that we decided it was time to give up our perceived control and move forward with our lives. We were not giving up, just not sitting still while waiting. It became clear to me that I was supposed to go back to work. God affirmed this choice by giving me a great job quickly and easily. Then we got confused again. The same week I started work their was an announcement made by the US Department of State that made it clear that we would either be traveling soon or our long process would be over without our baby. We just needed to be patient because God had it under control.

(Side note: Right before this announcement came out we hung a Moravian star in what will be the babies room. Chris mentioned that it was a symbol of guiding our baby home, and once it was up, things started happening! Then things stopped again. I went home and saw that the star had fallen and the light bulb broke. I was kinda crazy that day and decided that I could not deal with it. On Monday Chris decided to fix it. Maybe 30 minutes later we saw the email that would forever change our family. I know that God is in charge, not the star, but even still I am making sure that thing is hanging and working.)

On Monday December 6, 2010 our Case Worker sent us an email letting us know that Kazakhstan wants us to be there on December 19th! The week following was amazing. My job decided that they wanted to work with me and do whatever they can to keep me on. Chris's vacation worked out perfectly to where we will not have to go without an income while we are there. I was already going to Louisiana so I was able to share this with many people in person! What wonderful people we have in our lives! So many people have been praying for us and have been there for us throughout this process. We can't wait to share this with everyone. Hence the blog! We are leaving on December 17th and should meet our child on December 20th. We do not know anything other than he or she will be between 9 and 24 months.

(one more side note: I decided that I would wait until I could tell people in person to tell my family. On tuesday we had Chinese and my fortune cookie said that I should call my loved ones and tell them the good news. I almost called but decided that fortune cookies do not control my decision. If they did I would have done some crazy things, I have eaten a lot of fortune cookies in my life.)

I will later post details of how the trips are supposed to go. For now I will say that the first trip will probably be 5 weeks long and if everything goes exactly right we will be able to have our child home in March.